Less Self Criticizing

Rainy days. They can be a time of peace, renewal, and rest. Or, ugh, they can really drag a person down.  Today as the rains picked up, I started feeling a little dragged.  A little un-energized, and slow to start the days to-do list.  There isn’t anything urgently awaiting my immediate attention.  No “or else” deadlines.  Nothing like what I talked about in the Less Series.  Simply a list of things that I’d like to put to rest, and today seemed like the day to do it.

Until right now.

Ugh, this rain! It triggered an old sensation for me.  It lured me back to recalling those dark days when I was over my head with everything.  I found myself about to start “should-ing” myself, for the first time in a very, very long time.   I should be getting things done, despite this rain. .  I should do….  I should get….  I should go… I should be…just look how you’re wasting this day…….you should be….

ERRRrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkk! Like a needle skipping across a record to a screeching halt, I reeled myself back to the present moment.  I was forgetting to breathe.  “I should stop should-ing myself”. I sat quietly listening to the soft rain, waiting for my breath to come back.  Beautiful, softly falling rain.  Love the sound of the rain.  It’s a perfect day.  It’s all good.  It’s. All. Good.  Breathing.  Calm again.

It sure is easy to overlook the positive when drowning in too much “more”. It sure is easy to be hard on ourselves.  What we do do is never enough it seems. How easy it is to forget all we’ve accomplished.  Why aren’t we honoring those accomplishments?  What makes it so much easier to scold ourselves for what aren’t getting done?

I give myself permission to stop everything, and enjoy this lovely rain. Yes. It’s okay.  The rest can wait.  Here and now, is beautiful.  Relax.  Enjoy.

Isn’t that what it’s all about? Allowing ourselves to simply…..be?  If we can’t do that for ourselves, well, who is going to step up and do it for us?

Listening to the calm, rhythmic pelting of the rain, I rewind the last year in my mind.  I’ve achieved so much, despite every challenge I’ve been dealt.  Faced with countless let-downs and obstacles, I’ve found new resources, new support, new people and new things to be thankful and joyful for.  While it’s hard to get out from under the stack of more negative stressful crap blurring the way, the truth is, I have much to celebrate; a multitude of successes scattered across the last year, and an enormous amount of work I’ve accomplished in the last few weeks alone!  The magic permission wand comes out.  I work hard, and do plenty.  I am deserving.  I deserve a break.

All you need is less.

I’d been pushing forward with more than I could handle for years.

I could have fared better with “less”.

But we can’t change the past.

What we can do is learn from it.

We can’t predict the future.

What we can do is plan for it.

So in this rainy moment, I brought to my awareness a gentle reminder that not so long ago I made the decision it was time to face more with less. This week’s mantra is a gentle reminder of that decision, simply meant to keep my thinking on track, even on dreary rainy days.

Less time on self-criticizing.  Why are we so hard on ourselves, anyway?

Back in 2016, in order to heal from beating myself up about everything I didn’t do, couldn’t do, shouldn’t do or wouldn’t do, I created a script to play in my head every time I started going down that path of finding fault with myself. An affirmation list, so to speak.  I started reciting it, out loud, sometimes in front of the mirror, first thing each morning until I’d done it for 60 straight days.  Today I say it once again, and share it with you:

• I am good, and I am good enough, just as I am.
• Making time for nothing is healthy to do.
• I recognize and honor that my health is most important.
• My intentions are honest.
• I can choose to be flexible.
• My priorities are my priorities, and written in pencil.
• I deserve love, kindness, understanding, forgiveness and support.

Once I allowed these simple phrases to sink into my brain and stick, my self-perception and attitude made an epic change for the better. And reading them again now is like giving myself a much needed hug.  I’m back on track.  It’s ok to do nothing sometimes.  It’s ok to change the plan sometimes.  We can give ourselves permission.  The truth is, what we don’t get done today will surely still be there waiting for us tomorrow.  Unless some magic genie appears and takes care of it all! Oh, look at that, here comes the sun!

Hey, is that a genie I see over there?

 Thank you for reading my post. Did it strike a chord for you or did it seem far and away from your own perspective?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!  All comments are greatly appreciated.  You can read about all sorts of ideas, opinions and feelings from the heart and soul of an outdoorswoman… there are lots of topics covered in my blog category, “Girl Outdoors”.  If you like what you see, please let me know by “liking” my website.  You can even join my tribe to automatically receive new postings ‘hot off the press’.  There’s a place to do that right on my website homepage.  As always, please feel free to share my information with others who may find interest and value in PR Brady AdVentures!  Thanks again!