Expectations—Learning about Less Part 3

“All You Need Is Less” is my mantra of the year.

Yes, “Less Self-Imposed Expectations” was a hard, hard lesson to learn, but I was able to do it in part by listening to other people’s similar situations, identifying with them, and being able to envision alternate ways to view those situations. Then, I came up with a Plan Of Action to Ensure Less Unrealistic Expectations.  My simple plan of action isn’t rocket science, but it sure does work for me.

The thing is, it’s pretty useless to try to just “whip up” a plan of action. There are a few steps involved. There is a need to put some thought into one.  A little self-talk, a little soul searching perhaps.  But if you can get through that part  you’re well on your way to enjoying  much more “Less!”

ACTION ITEM 1

First and foremost was coming to the understanding that it all starts with me.

Yada, yada yada, yeah we hear it over and over, but the truth really is….

Yes, I do have the ability to direct my destiny. We all do.  It’s all about choice.  I decide if and when I am going to do… virtually….anything.  I want certain things out of this life.  I aspire to achieve certain things.  Every time I take a back seat to my own needs and desires, I am farther away from realizing them.  I can’t get what I want without my own cooperation.   It’s on me, alone.  I can choose to say yes.  I can choose to say no. I can choose to share, keep, wait, or leave.  I can choose to modify my plans, or hold steady.  Not making a decision is, actually, making a decision.  I can decide something is important enough to engage in, or not.  I can change my mind then change it again. Saying yes isn’t wrong.  Saying no isn’t failing. I can be my worst critic, or my biggest cheerleader.  It all depends on how I choose to view things.  What happens in my day happens because of my decisions.  EVEN if it means disappointing someone, or something becomes a “surprise” situation, like my medical surprise.  I can choose how to respond to it. No one else gets to make that decision for me.  When a person approaches life with this realization in mind it effects every relationship and interaction they have.

The first step was coming back to the simple understanding that it all starts with me. Then, everything else changed.  Recognizing that “inner power” helped give me renewed confidence that I am valuable and my time is valuable, and I actively choose to prioritize my time to be gentle, patient, supportive, and forgiving of myself, first.  For most of us, I suspect we have ourselves down a couple on the priority list, putting others first.  As awkward and selfish as it may sound…that has to stop. We need to take care of ourselves before we’ll be much good for others.

ACTION ITEM 2

I identified four important TRUTHS to live by (in addition to ‘The Four Agreements’—by Don Miguel Ruiz –the ultimate truths to live by!).  These truths have been firmly planted in front of me for some time now, as a behavior modification reminder.

ONE      Trust that the world isn’t going to come to an end without my relentless efforts.

TWO      Accept that it’s not my job to take on mine, and everyone else’s “stuff”.  I’m not responsible for everything.

THREE   Allowing myself to pick and choose the things I really want to do, have to let go of, or cannot get done, is the right thing to do for everyone.   Just because I know I can, doesn’t mean I should.

FOUR    Believe that I deserve love, respect, understanding, and kindness from others, AND from myself.

ACTION ITEM 3

I had to put this adjusted way of thinking into a user friendly format. For me, that’s the easy part!

What helped me to limp along juggling overwhelming unrealistic expectations for years and years and YEARS was keeping AND USING a schedule. For me that included anything from bi-monthly projects to routine daily needs, cramming things right down to an 18 hour hourly timeline by the ½ hour with no breaks if I had a super busy day.  And more than once I needed a 30 hour day!  Oh how I had myself on point for non-stop running!  Sometimes  I can’t believe I’m still alive!  While the schedule gig was pretty effective in getting things done, it was also totally exhausting, usually unattainable, plus it was missing something huge—time to breathe.  There are several reasons for that,  that somehow, I never recognized all those years.  But now I do.

So, things have changed for me. It’s a new day.  “Less” of a day. Next time I’ll show you how I developed my “Less of a Schedule SCHEDULE”!

Thank you for reading my post. Did it strike a chord for you or did it seem far and away from your own perspective?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!  All comments are greatly appreciated.  You can read about all sorts of ideas, opinions and feelings from the heart and soul of an outdoorswoman… there are lots of topics covered in my blog category, “Girl Outdoors”.  If you like what you see, please let me know by “liking” my website.  You can even join my tribe to automatically receive new postings ‘hot off the press’.  There’s a place to do that right on my website homepage.  As always, please feel free to share my information with others who may find interest and value in PR Brady AdVentures!  Thanks again!