I’ve known since spring that we were living on borrowed time. Angel had a stroke in May, and Sunny, being so sensitive and worried for both me and Angel, had one only days afterwards. There I was with two lethargic, failing 16 + year old Lhasa’s. Thinking both their days were numbered, I was desperate, and began treating them with my essential oils. To my surprise, they miraculously bounced back! Within a matter of days they came out of the lethargic cloud, slowly they regained their ability to walk properly, got their faculties back, and within a few short weeks started acting like normal again, just a little slower. But what can you expect for being over 16 years old?
Of course there was no more jumping up on anything. Sunny Girl learned to take the doggie stairs to her chair until that became too dangerous. Stairs became taboo. One level living was mandatory. We took several trips down south to the farm and I would lift her in and out of the toy hauler. She moved slower and slower over the course of the summer and fall.
The last few weeks have been the hardest. Sunny Girl has started keeping close. Real close. She makes sure she is directly under my feet all the time, every time I try to take a step, there she is, looking up at me. She’s become very vocal. If I leave the room for more than 15 minutes, she cries out. She tries her best to rush out the back door to go pee, and cries out if the door is shut. She is trying so hard not to disappoint me. Feeding her has become the worst guessing game yet. I try oat meal, lamb, hamburger and rice, cooked pureed carrots, and more. It’s a crap shoot to find something she will eat, as I watch her get leaner and leaner. It is breaking my heart. Often I’m on the floor hand feeding her because she seems to struggle with eating out of her dish.
Truthfully, I think she just doesn’t feel like eating out of her dish. Yes, she has me under her thumb. I thought we had hit the jackpot with curly noodles and pieces of fresh cooked chicken. And now suddenly it’s all stopped.
Sunday November 11th 6:00 a.m.
Sunny Girl has suddenly become extremely frail. She’s walking into corners and getting stuck. She’s falling over. She is guarding her left front leg. She tries to walk, falls over and cries. Trying to comfort her while I figure out what’s wrong. She was fine last night….did she have another stroke? Frankincense and Copaiba seem to calm her down. Perhaps she just needs to rest that leg. Maybe she pulled a muscle or bumped it. Oh my baby girl! How can I help you?
Sunday November 11th Noon.
Sunny can’t seem to sit up on her own, as hard as she tries, and boy, she’s trying hard, and crying out loud with frustration. It’s like her spine has turned to rubber. She won’t eat, not even her special chicken and curly noodles that she’s been loving lately. I’ve made a soft cushiony bed on the kitchen floor to have her rest on. Maybe she just needs to rest.
Sunday November 11th 6:00 p.m.
My baby girl, Sunny! Oh my God, Sunny! You won’t eat. You try to lift your head and you can’t! Angel has licked your face, your ears, your head, and you just can’t sit yourself up, even with all her efforts. She is worried. I am worried. I don’t know what to do. I call the vet. “I don’t know what to think. I think it’s ‘time’ but I just don’t know”.
I can’t think. I’m not ready. I’ve had over 16 years to be ready. But I’m not. Some people would say “it’s just a dog….she’s 16 after all!” But when I look at her sweet face I don’t see an old dog. I see my loving companion who, in my mind, is ageless. So I sob, and sob, and sob. It takes me another 2 hours to pull myself together and bring her in.
Sunday November 11th 8:40 p.m.
The vet is quietly checking Sunny out, while I fall apart on the chair. Thank God my neighbor happened to be there with her dog, and is now in the exam room with us. “Her leg is ok, it’s her back giving her problems. Let’s give her an injection for pain for starters.” “You mean she’s going to be okay?” I weep with relief. I’m sent home with two prescriptions to help her muscles relax and relieve the pain, and hopefully she’ll be eating by Monday morning.
Sunday November 11th 9:40 p.m.
My Sunny Girl is home, sleeping easier now, but clouds are rolling in. I fear in my heart we are in for some very dark days.
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